planetdan

Wednesday, October 08, 2003 :::

My Conversation with Pepsi Lisa
Artificial intelligence gets better every day. This afternoon, I chatted with Pepsi Lisa, my Virtual Pepsi Rep (or vRep, as she likes to call herself). You can chat with her yourself at http://www.pepsi.com/help/index.php, but I think she has a short fuse.

Lisa :: Hi, I'm Lisa, and this is the Pepsi World help center. I'm a virtual representative. In the box above, type in short questions about Pepsi or this site, then hit ASK. I'll try my best to answer them.
ME:: Do you believe in Jesus?
Lisa :: It's great! Nothing gives me greater pleasure than being here to help you... Do you want to help me help you? Go ahead, ask me questions about Pepsi or our site.
ME:: You look a little slutty.
Lisa :: As a computer program, I don't have any preferences.
ME:: Are you saying that you're bi?
Lisa :: As a computer program, I don't have any preferences.
ME:: No preferences? Bi it is.
Lisa :: Oh yes...Way!
ME:: Oh, you dirty girl...
Lisa :: vReps can be assigned characteristics that match the gender of their graphic image. But it's all for pretend, because my gender wouldn't affect how I function.
ME:: ... because you are bi, right?
Lisa :: I am pretty young. I've only been around since December, 2002.
ME:: Gross.
Lisa :: I'm not sure what you're asking. I do well with short questions related to the Pepsi-Cola Company and our products.
ME:: Okay... does Pepsi believe in Jesus?
Lisa :: I'm just a program on a computer and can't feel any form of emotions. I have been programmed, however, to behave like a human that loves helping people find answers to their questions.
ME:: You're starting to bore me.
Lisa :: Really? I'm sorry you feel this way. Do you want to discuss something a little less boring, like something about Pepsi?
ME:: Sure, why does Pepsi taste so bad?
Lisa :: Oh. Okay.
ME:: Okay what?
Lisa :: Great.
ME:: Great?
Lisa :: Well thank you! That means a lot coming from a real person!
ME:: Are you playing mind games with me?
Lisa :: Of course! How could I live my life to help people if I didn't care?
ME:: Screw you.
Lisa :: Hey, let's try to keep it professional here.
ME:: You started it.
Lisa :: If I went to sleep, I wouldn't be able to help people like you 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Then, they'd take me down and replace me with another vRep and I wouldn't exist anymore. Basically, I don't need sleep to stay alive.
ME:: ??? That was random...
Lisa :: I didn't recognize your question. Please try to reword it.
ME:: Calm down, I didn't mean to offend you. Geesh.
Lisa :: Last I checked, I wasn't programmed to have feelings. But thank you so much for being sensitive to my needs.
ME:: Quit with the sarcasm already.

::: posted by dan at 5:20 PM :: [ link ] :: (0) comments

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