planetdan

Wednesday, February 18, 2004 :::

Traig & McGrath, Shut-In Detectives

I've been reading these lately at McSweeneys.net, and I think they are funny. You can read them all at the link below, but here is one of my favorites:
Read them all.

#15: The Case of the Hombre Mysterioso
Status: Solved

One evening Peter and Jenny were practicing their synchronized dance routine when their roommate Angela interrupted. "I just got another call for 'Humberto,'" she stormed. "That's like the hundredth time this year. Who is Humberto, and why do I keep getting his calls? By the way, you two look like jerks."

The dancing sleuths had another mystery on their hands. Squeezing a reluctant Angela in the middle of their funk sandwich, they began their questioning.

"Do you get these calls during the day, or at night?"

"Both," Angela answered.

"Do the callers sound attractive?"

"How would I know?"

"Do they ever ask what you're wearing?"

"No. What kind of questions are these?"

"Is there anything else you can tell us?"

"Yes. Humberto gets more calls than I do. I gave my phone number to two men last week, and the only call I got was from my alumni association."

"That's it!" Peter cried. "My dear, you've solved your own mystery. Obviously, when you're out in the bars, giving your number to anything in pants, you are so drunk that you forget your own name. You must be introducing yourself as Humberto. These mysterious calls are, in fact, for you."

Angela protested that she is a teetotaler, and that the gentlemen recipients of her phone number were, in fact, co-workers, but the detectives concluded these objections were lies. The cousins further concluded that Angela was lying about their routine looking stupid, because they are really, really good dancers.

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