planetdan

Monday, May 03, 2004 :::

Athletically Inadequate

I suddenly got an ouchy tummy after finding out that I'm supposed to participate as a Greasy Cooter in my first kickball league game this Friday. Instantly, I had a flashback to the last time I played kickball: ninth grade gym class. I won't forget it because it was the very same day that every boy in class gathered in a circle of intimidation around yours truly to kick my shins and calves as hard as possible. You thought "Kick Me" signs were an apocryphal TV-sitcom invention? They aren't.

It took 15 minutes for me to realize I had a kick-me sign on my back; it took 15 days for the bruises to heal; and 15 years later the emotional scars still burn. Kidding, but after that flashback and after having just seen "Mean Girls" this weekend, it made me wonder about the worst taunting I've ever had. I had many, but it was the instances where even teachers participated that I remember most vividly. Like when Mr. Ring accused me of staring at his ass in front of the whole class. Or when Mr. Gunderson laughed derisively when Eric Nordberg called me a big-headed pansy during flag football. Both gym teachers. Hmmmmm.

If you have a good taunting story, you should comment on it to make me feel better.

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