planetdan

Wednesday, June 09, 2004 :::

Baked. The bad way.

I had a little tanning mishap. I went to a tanning salon yesterday in attempt to prevent burning on my upcoming cruise, as well as to look not-so-glowy in a bathing suit. I don't tan, and in fact I tend to avoid the sun and the out of doors altogether, so a mere 12 minutes in the "turbotan" machine seems to have caused extensive damage. The leathery woman at the tanning joint told me that my particular tanning bed was filled with "bronzing bulbs" which were "unlikely to burn skin" and yet were the equivalent of "6 normal tans, without the damage." She must have been misinformed. This sure does look a lot better than glowy white, don't it?

Thank god I kept my underwear on. The pain is considerable. I went back to the salon and lifted my shirt for the staff on duty and received unanimous gasps, most likely not due to my physique. They gave me free pity lotion. And don't mock my fruit of the looms. Expensive underwear is for idiots.

::: posted by dan at 8:27 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

9 previous comments:

I can't comment on the burn but you are scrumcious!

By

Stacy, at 8:44 PM

1: ow. :(
2: 12 MINUTES!?!?! that woman is an idiot...for future reference, you're supposed to start slow and work up to it, a glowing whitey should start with like 2 minutes, i'd say 2 days in a row, then go up to 4 for a couple days, then 6 or 8, etc
3: nice white feet, did you keep your socks on too? ;-)

By

Jaime, at 7:53 AM

What have I told you about tanning beds? You'll never learn. I am a new-found fan of the fake tan in a bottle. It took away my winter glow before my vaca to DC. Give it a try next time instead of going to the skin cancer factory.

By

hot babe, at 1:06 PM

I didn't wear socks. For some reason, the tanning gods decided to spare my footsies, my face, and my sides. Not only is it the worst burn I've ever had, it's also the most inconsistent and uneven burn I've ever had.

By

dan, at 2:11 PM

You would think that someone of your intellect would expect that reaction. With this in mind, don't expect others to feel sorry for your lack thereof. Sorry, It was either this comment or a hallmark card of someone pointing and laughing.

JRH

By

Anonymous, at 5:28 PM

who wears their socks in the sun - you kinda deserve what you get. Look on the bright side - at least you didn't keep your hands over your face and get that as a pattern!

By

unklol, at 6:06 PM

Finally!

A money shot from planetdan.

I've been dreaming of this for months.

Thank you, oh thank you.

By

Anonymous, at 8:31 AM

There are no words, no words...

By

Noemi, at 12:04 AM

That is just so awful. Makes me don't want to go to tanning salons anymore but rather do some tanning at home.

Vanessa
http://www.tanningbed-free.info

By

Vanessa, at 6:53 AM

< Back to Blog