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Monday, June 14, 2004 :::
This is apparently old, but I missed it the first time-around. Wonkette has collected a few suggestive quotes implying that Bush bats for both sides, or at the very least is oddly obsessed with attractive male faces: Kinda like grade-school taunting at the playground, but also kinda funny. Which kind of reminds me of a dark period when I was in the fourth grade and walked home from school every day. My begging-for-trouble friend Cory taunted a menacing eighth-grader, David Stay, from across the parking lot with a chorus of "Gay Stay! Gay Stay! Gay Stay!" Since David Stay was a good deal older and faster than us, he easily caught up with Cory and pounded his face into a snow bank. I abandoned my friend without a second thought, and sprinted away in a desperate act of self-preservation, as Gay Stay yelled after me, "I'll get you later!" So for weeks after, I bolted from school the minute the bell rang in order to avoid his wrath, until one day he finally got wise and gave chase. I'd had a pretty good head start on him, but the problem was that it was winter, I was in the fourth grade, and Moon Boots were standard issue. My little padded legs just couldn't keep pace and I ended up ditching face first onto the pavement. When he caught up to me, I defensively turned on the water-works and balled "I'm telling!" before he even layed a hand on me. He simply said "I didn't even do anything yet," and walked away, sparing me. I never wore Moon Boots again, but I can still feel the burning shame like it was yesterday. 
::: posted by dan at 2:38 PM :: [ link ] :: (2) comments   
2 previous comments: Come one- you have to have more of these stories. This one definitely ranks right up there with the "kick me" sign in gym class. Too funny... By  hot babe, at
12:40 PM
Yes, I tend to get favorable responses for stories that involve personal humiliation or any type of traumatizing event. Your interest in my pain is appreciated. By dan, at
1:13 AM
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