planetdan

Friday, January 14, 2005 :::

Creationist Science Fair

This is old, and I've seen it quite a few times, but I can't take the chance that one of you hasn't seen it yet because it's just too awesome:

The 2001 Creationist Science Fair

Highlights of the award winners:

First Place, Elementary School Level:
"My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

2nd Place, Middle School Level:
"Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay.

~~And it doesn't even seem to be a joke.~~ It's most likely a fake site, albeit a pretty subversively funny one. At least Georgia finally decided those Creationist stickers they put on all their science textbooks were embarassingly backwoods.

::: posted by dan at 3:24 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments

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9 previous comments:

Holy shitballs. That... is ridiculous. I have no more words.

By

Truecraig, at 4:51 PM

Once again, their self-righteousness infuriates me - rather than finding the Creation Fair amusing. I need a drink, come hellfire or Noah's Ark high water.

By

Kiddo78, at 5:19 PM

Ok, can I just say the best part of their whole site is Peggy Miller (the Pastor's wife)'s cartoon Lambuel. There are "fun" games and it helps kids know what to do if they spot a *gasp* atheist- http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html. Too funny- thanks for sharing Dan

By

Tsering324, at 5:19 PM

I'm curious if the girls who just prayed for the E-coli virus to be immune to antibiotics realize they just gave the devil the upperhand?

Or if anyone explained the "theory of evolution" to Miss Turnbull.

Or if Jonathan Goode realizes he's never going to get laid?

Personally, I would love to see the "Mouse trap reduced to a pile of functionless parts" project. Sounds interesting.

By

Colleen, at 5:36 PM

Damn...I think I just ended up spending 3 hours on that site. And all I learned is that Lamb Chop is "shamelessly pantless."
Stupid puppets...how dare they not wear pants!

By

Monkey, at 9:49 PM

The fact that they invited the Muslim kids to join the Fair was a huge step in Interfaith Outreach.... until the part about not being able to award those kids anything because their projects were riddled with "Biblical inconsistencies."

But remember kids:
"When it comes to studying the works of the Lord, there are no losers! "

By

jen, at 11:48 AM

Alas, a little browsing and a skeptical eye will reveal that the Objective Ministries site is satire. (A quick peek at its online shop is telling.) The site seems to be designed to appear as authentic as possible, so as to fool as many people as possible. And it does an amazing job, as demonstrated by its links to the sites of bona fide far-right Christian groups such as the American Family Foundation and its faux campaign to shut down the less subtle (but just as funny) Landover Baptist site.

Whoever's behind Objective Ministries is really clever. I sent the Creation Science Fair link to a fair number of people before realizing it was ruse. 'Course, now I'm even more fond of it.

If you haven't seen it already, you should check out Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian. It's also pretty terrific.

By

S&J, at 4:44 PM

Yeah, it seemed a little too good to be true. If it is fake, then someone has a lot of time on their hands. But whoever it is, they are really funny.

By

dan, at 6:48 PM

What?! I don't get it. That website was a joke? Who has the time?

I love Betty Bowers. Totally awesome, but at least I could figure out that sight was meant to be humerous and wasn't serious. I think.

By

Colleen, at 6:32 PM

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