planetdan

Saturday, January 29, 2005 :::

Startling Discoveries

I've been doing some massive reorganization and cleaning of my house lately. I've gotten into spaces and crevices that I've never seen or touched since I bought the place three years ago. Today in the far back of an attic closet I was very unhappy to make a startling discovery: a near-empty bottle of KY Jelly. Out of all the things the previous owners could have left behind for me to find years later, a used-up bottle of KY Jelly is probably one of my least favorites. Of course I had a good solid grasp on the bottle before I even realized what it was. I was going to take a picture of the bottle to prove it, but I didn't want to touch it any more than I already had. And I don't even want to know how it got into the very back of that closet.

I also found this pretty painting:

I'm not sure I understand the symbolism. Heat melts peace? Peace is waxy?

::: posted by dan at 8:49 PM :: [ link ] :: (5) comments

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5 previous comments:

I can relate - The husband and I were once given an old RV by one of his much older (like late 50's - early 60's) co-workers that he contemplated turning into an ice house (needless to say, this idea didn't go very far). Yeah... we found a nicely used bottle of KY tucked into one of the nasty old yellowed foldy beds... I scrubbed my hands bloody that day and never stepped foot in that RV again...

By

Bloggerful, at 11:10 PM

I found a very disturbing thing in my home about three years ago that had been left by the previous owners.

When I first toured the house, there was a little Christmas tree sitting in the daughter’s room that remained up ‘all year long, because she loves Christmas.’ The next room was occupied by her mentally handicapped brother, whom she helped care for.

Once I moved in, I turned the daughter’s room into a computer room because they had these built-in cabinets. At one point, I decided to run some cables under the base of the bottom shelf, which lifted out quite easily, and I found the seventeen year-old girl’s trove.

There was a fertility tester. I was not even aware such things were commercially available. It was like a home pregnancy test kit. They were these little sticks that you peed on, and it told you if you were ripe. (It must have detected a LH surge, the time when women are most fertile) There were two of ten of them left.

I could not even begin to guess what was going through her mind. Was she trying to get pregnant? Was she peeing on them and then not using protection if it was negative? Either way, I felt sick thinking about it. I almost called the previous owners to tell them to have a sit down with her.

By

Erik, at 7:22 AM

When my old b.f. and I moved into a cute little house in Small Paul we found a stash of really grainy pirated porn videos in a kitchen cabinet. Thanks, Welcome Wagon! Our favorite was called "Hot To Trot." It was a sad day indeed when that tape finally snapped. I can hardly think of any form of entertainment today that has the same guaranteed-to-rip-snorting-hysterical-laughter quotient.

By

PeaceBang, at 9:10 PM

KY Jelly? That's NOTHING!! Check out this post over at Towleroad:

http://towleroad.typepad.com/towleroad/2005/01/extra_crispy.html

I can understand being grossed out by finding THAT... Also of note is that the previous owner of the item shows up in the comment sections, trying to play it off.

Cully

By

Anonymous, at 9:31 PM

When my brother moved into his house he found about 10 empty bottles of Jim Beam and a vibrator tucked away in a corner of the attic. I hate to think about what went on up there!

By

katie, at 10:13 AM

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