planetdan

Friday, March 04, 2005 :::

Drugs

These steroids have my name written all over them. Literally.

Jesus that pic makes my hand look fat. In case you didn't know, because I really try not to bother people with my problems, I have mono. So I'm on drugs. First on the menu is the steroids, which are supposed to lessen the swelling in my throat but have done nothing so far except to create the illusion of knowing what pure ass tastes like. Seriously, I've never tasted anything like it. It's like licking something rusty that's been dipped in 409.

Next on the plate is Vicodin, which relieves the pain long enough for me to swallow for a short period of time. But since my throat is swollen to about a quarter of its normal diameter, I'm not able to eat much anyway, so I've mostly stuck to a diet of apple sauce, pudding, and the 7-Layer Burrito from Taco Bell. It's become a race to get to the Taco Bell and back in order to eat my burrito before the Vicodin wears off. As for any other euphoric side-effects that people claim Vicodin creates, I haven't experienced them, so at least I can rest assured that my bout with mono will not be followed-up with a stint at Hazelden kicking pain killers with rock stars and sitcom actors.

::: posted by dan at 4:27 PM :: [ link ] :: (6) comments

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6 previous comments:

I was there when he took the picture. No photoshopping. It really has his name all over it.

By

hot babe, at 6:49 PM

Yes, hotbabe kindly and very thoughtfully brought me a Blizzard to soothe my angry throat. It also doubled as today's lunch. Thanks again hotbabe. Mucho apprecioso.

By

dan, at 7:07 PM

so sad that the Vicodin is not showing you love, you should ask for morphine, in the words of someone else, i was on it "once when i had my eyes done, and then everyday after that for twenty years."

By

heather chandler, at 9:51 AM

Hehe, your hand as if its been giving steroids and has bulged up to look like a deformed unproportioned wrestler...

By

Roba, at 7:20 PM

Maybe the problem is that you're not taking enough...aren't you supposed to pop a couple of those babies at a time?

By

lynne, at 12:31 PM

Yeah. And aren't you supposed to wash them down with a bottle of booze?

By

hot babe, at 5:18 PM

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