planetdan

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 :::

I'm going to kick this guy in his groin all hard and stuff.

What would happen if that Verizon Wireless guy ever visited my house:

I know this because it is the exact same one-sided conversation I have daily with all my friends and coworkers. I can't get any signal at all on their crap network anywhere in my house and I practically live directly underneath a cell tower. What gives, jackass? How come people can hear you in some cave or in some ladies bathroom somewhere, but they couldn't in a million years hear you from my living room?

P.S. That really is my living room. I am a photoshop mastah!

::: posted by dan at 11:40 PM :: [ link ] :: (12) comments

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12 previous comments:

From this vantage point, your mantle display is pathetic. Where is the sense of scale and drama? Of course the only thing I like on it are the faux Adler vases I told you to buy at Target. You should re-prop that thing pronto.

Why does the Veriszon guy look like a marionette puppet? It's freaky. At least Cathy Zeta-Jones has never let me down...and she is super perty.

By

brent, at 11:02 AM

got the same problem but with cingular. works just about everywhere but our apt. there are towers all around us. it's so dumb.

By

Anonymous, at 7:15 AM

I want to get this on the record:

These ads are so tired. It's time to change them up - show us the person that this dude is talking to.

I can see it now...
"yes i can hear you."
"yes i can hear you."
"yes i can hear you."
repeat ad nauseum

By

Anonymous, at 8:46 AM

Actually, there is what's known as an "umbrella effect" beneath RF transmitters, which basically means the zone immediately beneath a tower has very little signal. Most well-funded radio stations include another smaller antenna on the same tower to fill in that dead zone, but the cost is not negligible.

I don't know much about cell phone towers in particular. I learned this working in FM radio. But as far as I know, RF is RF, so that might be the effect that you're seeing. Or maybe the tower above your house broadcasts in some band that your phone doesn't support.

Nice living room though. Screw the naysayers.

By

Dan McCormack, at 1:27 AM

Also, I'd like to pre-emptively apologize for injecting nerdiness into the post :)

By

Dan McCormack, at 1:28 AM

Your verizon guy is backwards, in side out, or something else. His red check mark is facing the wrongs way.

I like the fireplace.

By

Anonymous, at 3:36 PM

My experience with Cathy Zeta:

CZJ: Get more!
Me: I'm at the end of my driveway.
CZJ: Not there dear. No signal there.
Me: I'm going under a bridge.
CZJ: Oh um, sorry, you will now loose your call.
Me: Heading into Wal'mart, authorized reseller of T-mobil.
CZJ:Ooops, sorry, not in there, no singnal in there.
Me: Entering my office. No other way to get ahold of me.
CZJ: Jeez, I'm sorry, no signal, but they have a direct line to the front desk, best give out that number.
Me: Passing large number of above ground phone lines.
CZJ:Didn't you know that TOTALLY cuts out our signal. Sorry dear.

Maybe your guy and my gal should get together?

By

Colleen, at 8:00 PM

Coleen -

Why on earth would you be going into a Wal-Mart? I know you can afford Target since you basically live in a mansion. I've seen the pictures. And don't tell me it's how you got there - there is no excuse for wal-mart. NO EXCUSE!

By

brent, at 4:06 PM

I live in a mansion because we built is ourselves, have you never heard the saying "hard work pays off"? Besides, it looked really small on the plot plan. Walmart is seriously cheap. I did a price comparison (cuz I have nothing better to do) $121 Walmart bill. Same products at Target $163. Same products at Cub $179. It adds up. Sorry Brent.

By

Colleen, at 8:54 PM

You know I am giving you a hard time, right? Cuase you should ask Dan if I know anything about hard work, cause I do. More than most.

Anyway, it's still Wal-mart! Personally, I would rather give $40 extra bucks to Target so my friends, family and neighbors can sustain their careers and who gives back to local communities than succomb to the evil that is wal-mart. Pure EVIL!! Me and Jesus are praying for you. Kidding. I don't believe in Jesus.

By

brent, at 3:43 PM

Yeah, I know. But when you're house poor because you built yourself a house that's TOTALLY outside of "living within your means". $40 is $40. Besides, our sissy works for the "beast" someone has to shop at Walmart so she can get paid.

In any case, I thought the walmart thing was funny because they're "official Tmobil resellers" and you can't get a signal inside any of their stores.

By

Colleen, at 4:09 PM

Really though if it weren't cell phones it would be something else. All we really need is something to bitch about. I do agree though, but my worst pet peve is when you try to make a call and it says, "All cercuits are busy!" (Sorry about the spelling.) I really want to thow the phone out the window, or i guess smash it on the ground. "All cercuits are busy!" FUCK the cercuits, and the horse they rode in on.

By

Anonymous, at 8:32 AM

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