planetdan

Tuesday, May 03, 2005 :::

616

Oops, turns out that boy from the Omen was just an ordinary kid after all:

666 is not the number of the beast (it's a devilish 616)

Since most historians speculate that the desciple John was most likely making a drug-induced statement about the fall of the Roman Empire when he wrote Revelations, and that 616 is a number that historically refers to the Emperor Caligula, then I think it's time that all these end-of-day preachers throw in the towel and admit defeat. I'm talking to you, Jack Van Impe. I'm talking to you, Krik Cameron (who is so totally the John Cassavetes character in Rosemary's Baby that it isn't even funny). I'm also talking to you, author of the Left Behind series. I'm also talking to you, every other Bible beater in the country. You are either so misguided that you are beyond help, or your are merely a petty fear-mongering con artist sharing mic-time with the lowest levels of humanity.

Now let's just hope that the rest of the ancient Oxyrhynchus Papyri translations yield even more relavatory information to snap these people out of their stupor.

Or let's hope that I sober up soon. It's been a long day.

::: posted by dan at 10:33 PM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

9 previous comments:

They won't snap out of anything until they're not making money off of it anymore. It's all about exploitation.

By

rich, at 7:04 AM

Seriously, have you heard that Jack Van Impe preach on his TV show? The man can rattle of verses like nobody's business. How the heck does anyone even follow what he has to say in the first place? That is, unless you have the Bible memorized. And his big-haired, deer in the headlights, Tammy Wynette look-alike of a wife doesn't do much to add to his attraction, either. I'm impressed and amused that you used him as an example. Jack Van Impe - BWWAAA HA HA HA HA.

By

MommyT, at 8:21 AM

"his big-haired, deer in the headlights, Tammy Wynette look-alike of a wife"

Nicely put. She's the reason I find myself watching the show against my will. She and her cake make-up are totally hypnotizing. She must use Dutch Boy for mascara.

By

dan, at 10:09 AM

Ugh. Dan, you can't just leave these Kirk Cameron links lying about. Someone could get hurt. (Me, for example.) That site was positively horrifying.

By

S&J, at 10:17 AM

If you're going to wax knowledgeable about apocalyptic literature, at least try to get your facts straight. It's the book of revelation -- not revelations.

By

Anonymous, at 10:42 AM

It is also Cub Foods - not Cubs and Fifty Cents - not Fiddy Cent. Jeez dan you are so ghetto. HOLLA!

By

brent, at 3:50 PM

And while we're nitpicking - pretty sure his name is *Kirk* Cameron, not Krik. Not that I had his poster up in my locker in 8th grade or anything....

By

Anonymous, at 4:22 PM

Actually, it's Fifty Cent, no "s".

And if anonymous 1 wants to wax knowledgeable about religion, accept that if the blind lead the blind, they will both fall into the ditch.

The only truth lies within you.

By

Anonymous, at 9:02 PM

I wasn't talking about the musical phenomenon rap star Fifty Cent/G-unit, I was talking about how all (yes, ALL) "urban" folk tend to drop the "S" from things that have it and add it to things that don't. Listen, it happen all the times. Get it? Word.

By

brent, at 9:37 AM

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