planetdan

Saturday, November 12, 2005 :::

Liquid Cereal - Serious Effing Nay

When email was getting ubiquitous in the late nineties and all those stupid viral email rumors were spreading and people actually believed that they could get a dollar from Bill Gates every time they forwarded an email, I decided to start my own rumor to see if it would catch on. I decided to spread the rumor that they were developing Peanut Butter Coke that would be test marketed in Twin Cities grocery stores. Seemed believable enough, but I only knew about five people, so disseminating the rumor proved difficult and it died a fast death. Anyway, today I saw this and nearly barfed:

It's close enough to Peanut Butter Coke, I think, and even more disgusting in concept. You can read reviews of the stuff here, like this one:

With a slight thickness to its body, this product also feels somewhat like cereal in your mouth. The greenish color is probably our biggest issue with this product as green colored milk is typically a sign of some sort of problem.

I'll say there is some sort of problem here. Grody.

::: posted by dan at 10:18 PM :: [ link ] :: (10) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

10 previous comments:

They should make "Smokey Cokey" - coca cola with a smokey fire taste to it... those things sound somewhat useful for time stressed people... much like drinkable yoghurt, but they also sound a bit gross.

By

Joshua, at 3:54 AM

Grody? Did you actually use the term grody? A bit before your time isn't it. I though grody went out of usage about 1969.

By

billthecatlives, at 4:58 AM

Grody is circa 1982, I believe.
And gross is not a strong enough word to describe this scurge of breakfast food. Liquid cereal. Holy crap, can Armageddon be very far away?

By

Anonymous, at 7:30 AM

this goes right up there with crystal pepsi

By

Adam, at 7:50 AM

Thank GOD they finally came out with this! I've been putting my cereal and milk in the blender for years. Who has time to chew when scarfing down breakfast before work? Now I can save even more time by buying my cereal prewhipped. One question though: where do they put the toy you'd normally get in a box of cereal?

By

Anonymous, at 8:48 AM

i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

By

Anonymous, at 9:51 AM

and i thought i had seen it all..yeuck. they should market that stuff to people who have their jaws wired shut and gastric bypass people only. soon we will all be eathing out of squeeze bags..no chewing involved, just gulp down everything, dont waste your time chewing. double yeuck

By

Anonymous, at 11:13 AM

I'm not crazy about the idea of the peanut butter one, but the rest seem alright. When I was in school my friends and I used to bring baggies of cereal - cap'n crunch, fruit loops, apple jacks, sugar smacks, etc. - and crush the cereal up with textbooks, then pour the cereal powder into the milk cartons we got at lunch. We'd take the milk cartons out to the playground and drink the "liquid cereal" through a straw, thus maximizing our playtime during the Lunch/Recess hour instead of wasting 10-20 minutes eating Taco Boat and Tater Tots.

I wouldn't recommend the Smokey Cokey - ever accidentally sipped out of a coke can that some lazy ass dropped a cigarette butt in?

By

stsundown, at 11:16 AM

OK this is the HEIGHT of American laziness: eating without chewing. Heaven FORBID we burn a calorie while crunching cereal.

By

Anonymous, at 4:16 PM

Ew.

By

Andrew Andrew, at 7:14 AM

< Back to Blog