planetdan

Friday, February 24, 2006 :::

Andy Bird and the Loud Bitches

I had no idea Andrew Bird had gotten so popular, but the Fine Line was packed to the gills at his show tonight. My fellow concert attendee and I sacrificed a good view of the show for a chance to sit comfortably at a table and get served drinks for most of the evening, so at best this is what we saw:

Andrew was great of course, but even more interesting was the fall-down drunk girl within stumbling distance who apparently thought that Andrew Bird was the type of music that inspired hip-grinding ass-rubbing hyper-sexual pole dancing, without the pole. But unfortunately, it is not that kind of music, and even more unfortunately, she was not even remotely capable of dancing sexy. In fact, it looked more like she was in a perpetual state of controlled falling down and tripping over her own feet. Most people had to turn away out of sympathetic embarrassment, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of that train-wreck. She totally made my evening.

On the flip side, there were also some loud bitches who did nothing to add to the experience. They stood around in clumps, chatting incessantly at the top of their lungs throughout the entire performance, spewing pointless drivel involving someone's latest haircut and "Oh my god do you know what Tom did?!?" banality. It was actually as if they were battling with the musicians for audibility. The dumb girls almost seemed annoyed that they couldn't hear each other over the music they had just paid twenty dollars to witness. Why pay money to have a random gab-fest smack dab in the middle of a concert venue? I couldn't help but hear their conversation about planning a "pre-party" at 7:00 the next night. Or maybe 8:00. Well, how 'bout we say between 7:00 and 8:00? Or maybe even 8:30. Should we say 8:30? Yeah, let's say 8:30. I was hoping to god she would scream-shout her address so that I could show up at her stupid "pre-party" holding a ghetto blaster with the volume on my Andrew Bird CD set to eleven so that when they all looked at me with utter disgust and annoyance I could just shout "Oh, I'm sorry, is this annoying and inappropriate? Is this type of distraction only acceptable if everyone else has paid a twenty dollar entrance fee? My mistake, you dumb loud bitches."

And I bought a concert t-shirt.

::: posted by dan at 12:32 AM :: [ link ] :: (12) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

12 previous comments:

Dan, did you get falling down drunk at the concert again? Remember you have people who care about you here in AA. Even if you are a queer and pimp, we accept you for who you are and are here to help you with your problem. Just say the word and we will be there for you.

By

Anonymous, at 5:21 PM

andrew bird? you lucky bastard. i love the "turned up to 11" reference

By

aisy, at 6:03 PM

i hate dumb loud bitches. there were 3 of them standing behind me at the BRMC show at the Varsity a few weeks ago. i wanted to strangle them.

i also hate the homophobic anonymous guy who keeps promoting AA on your blog, dan.

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Honey Bunny, at 6:24 PM

i hate being at a half empty show where the loud bitches stand right in front of me. There's a ton of empty space and one will stand less than 2 feet in front of me...just rude.

almost as rude as people who can't accept their own homosexuality and have to project it onto others.

By

Anonymous, at 6:28 PM

I agree with honey bunny.

BTW, Honey are you relocated to the great gray tundra that is MN yet?

By

Colleen, at 8:58 PM

Ooops sorry Honey, maybe I should have checked your blog before asking. Welomce to MN!

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Colleen, at 9:01 PM

I keep saying they should make it leagal to shoot people like that in the face with potato guns. At really, really close range.

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Darcy's Twin, at 9:24 PM

Blogger should introduce the ability to block ip addresses from commenting. Alternatively Dan, you could switch on the moderate comments feature. J

By

Anonymous, at 6:37 AM

I also hate paying $10 to see a movie and someone in front of me tells everyone whats gonna happen next.

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sweets-n-scotch, at 11:33 AM

I love you Dan. But, hey, we people are loud because we've had one too many and don't realize it,or because we are given tickets and have no clue who we're seeing, and don't care, or because we have little or no self esteem and want someone, anyone to notice us, even if it's just because we're annoying . . . don't judge us so harshly Dan, we're just people, like you and your friends . . who I'm sure have irritated others in various states of drunkeness on more than one occasion.

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Anonymous, at 4:07 PM

Anonymous, if you're going to "flame" a post with your drivel, then have the balls to put your name/email address. Bet you won't because you're a coward.

By

Mike, at 10:01 AM

Dan, next time something like that happens you´ll just have to interrupt them and show them they´re not respecting every one else or ask them to be more quiet or something - if they don´t want to work with you, then roll up yer sleeves and bitchslap them hos... (hehe)

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Richard, at 7:15 AM

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