planetdan

Wednesday, May 10, 2006 :::

More Than a Mouthful

When I was about eight, my dad came back from a business trip with some souvenirs for me and my brother. They were T-shirts from a restaurant he had visited in Florida. I remember him telling us how he had a good time there. Apparently it was a rowdy place. It was called Hooters.

Please keep in mind that my Dad was, and still is, the lead guitarist for the church choir. We spent the majority of our free time with church friends, if not at the church itself. My mom worked part-time coordinating the ecumenical education for the parish's children. I'd never heard my Dad use a curse word, and he certainly didn't have any Playboys hidden in his nightstand.

Sure, this was decades ago, before Hooters was a household name. But the owl's eyes were clearly breasts; the word "Hooters" can hardly be misinterpreted even while taking into account the visual pun of the owl; and the catchphrase that was splattered across the back, "More Than A Mouthful", was not exactly veiled. But my cute little innocent mom and dad clearly had no idea.

Our wardrobes were extremely limited when I was a kid, so we wore those shirts incessantly and for years, totally oblivious to their lascivious origin. All I knew was that it had a cool owl on it. We wore them to church fairs, friend's houses, holiday functions, everywhere. I think it's funny to imagine someone letting their eight year old boy run around the annual family-oriented church retreat in a Hooters T-shirt that advocated suckling large breasts. I don't even want to know what other parents were imagining the "More Than a Mouthful" catchphrase would imply on the back of an eight year old boy. The 80's were clearly a much more innocent decade. Either that or my parents were just totally naive. Whatever the case, I wish I still had that shirt because I bet it would be some sort of collector's item by now.

Hooters has a REALLY good buffalo chicken sandwich though. Seriously.

Another interesting story about dan and Hooters: the one time I actually ate there, Skid Row was at the next table, but without Sebastian Bach. I know, meeting Skid Row without Sebastian Bach is like listening to INXS without Michael Hutchence, but still.

::: posted by dan at 12:47 AM :: [ link ] :: (22) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

22 previous comments:

snake sabo is awesome

By

Anonymous, at 3:15 AM

If women are not for decoration, why the fancy sandals?

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Erik, at 5:39 AM

My ex attempted to convince me that Hooters was "a nice family restaurant". Pretty funny.

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elizabeth, at 7:53 AM

That's amusing picturing tiny Dan running around totally oblivious in a hooters t-shirt. I hear they do have good wings.

Sebastian Bach IS skid row. How would you recognize them otherwise?

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Biglug, at 9:17 AM

I wouldn't recognize them without Sebastian Bach... I wouldn't recognize you in Hooters, I wonder who takes you there.

I had a friend who bought a shirt that said "redheads do it better" without a clue that it was sexual innuendo... I about broke her heart when I bust a gut laughing and had to let her in on the secret. I thought I was naive...

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the other sarah, at 9:30 AM

I just noticed your very first post mentioned Hooters as well.

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Anonymous, at 10:07 AM

the woman holding the sign in the picture is SO scary !

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Anonymous, at 3:17 PM

I'm so not joking. I thought that was a creepy guy. (that tells you what trying to date around here might be like, doesn't it?)

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elizabeth, at 4:27 PM

Hahaha the really ugly chic holding the sign looks totally pissed to see the really hot Hooters girls.

She's probably just pissed that the EOE law doesn't cover ugly man-chics and they refused to hire her. :P

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Darcy's Twin, at 11:33 PM

My mom and dad let me run around as a 7-10 year old with not one but several t-shirts with "The Best Tail in Town" emblazoned across the back... an artifact from a restaurant called RJ Gators, of which my aunt owned one. (See, I can make my sentences awkward by putting my prepositions in the right place too.)

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Anonymous, at 4:54 AM

In Wichita there is a generic version of Hooters called "Emerson Biggins". Say it out loud, people.
When are they going to come up with a place like this for us chiquitas to hide out in and pretend we're there for the "really good buffalo chicken sandwich"?!?!?

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Anonymous, at 4:33 PM

love your blog, dan! eagerly awaiting the name game results.

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Anonymous, at 5:13 PM

I guess I'm the naive one, because I have no idea what Emerson Biggins means. I've said it out loud here at my desk three times and I'm still not hearing it...

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Zoe, at 6:30 AM

"Them are some big ones". Helps if you are from the south. Here's another funny, where we suggest one of our favorite drivers in NASCAR, Elliott Sadler, to be the new Knight Rider:
Elliott/Michael Knight: "Wayuh ahh we Keeyut?
" KITT: "I can't understand you, Michael."

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Tommy T., at 7:41 AM

My hubby wants to open a restaurant named kitties, not sure what the uniform would be. My brother and sis works for the company that owns hooters, and that is a great place to work says my bro.

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Anonymous, at 10:59 AM

does anyone else think the lady holding the sign looks like johnny depp in edward scissorhands?

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Anonymous, at 12:33 PM

Do you think that they were offering some cold refreshment to the hot & tired protesters?

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Tommy T., at 1:05 PM

This comment section was as good as the original post. That's pretty cool.

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elizabeth, at 1:14 PM

the thought of you running around in that t-shirt, thinking it was cool....has me hysterical. Thanks dan for a great mental image.

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Anonymous, at 4:45 PM

I'm an ugly fag hag, Dan, and I think you are just adorable! Are you sure you're not gay?

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Anonymous, at 3:00 AM

Oh, come ON! There has to be a picture of you in that shirt. Where is it?

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ptw, at 10:55 AM

So what if the Hooter's girls are sexy. I am a woman and used to be around 300 lbs. (I have lost about 131 lbs since then).. Well anyway, I went in Hooters to pick up lunch for my boss and the first thing I said the cutsie little skinny big busted girl, was "Can I have an application please?" She kinda looked shocked and she asked me repeat what I just said, so I did and her mouth dropped open, I hurried up and said that I was just kidding. My girlfriend that came along with me could've been a Hooters Chick big time. And she was laughting so hard she nearly peed.
My advise is have fun during your life and dont let every little thing bother you... And I absolutely think MOST Protestors are so annoying, they always are down on somebody else, because their beliefs are not the same!! I say go to Hooters for the wonderful chicken wings (they really are good). And if you are not happy there and dislike the sexy girls, I say "Dont freaking go there then" My gosh, what people do to make themselves so miserable.

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Vicki, at 8:34 PM

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