planetdan

Friday, August 04, 2006 :::

Outta my way, bitches.

I went to see The Raconteurs in concert this evening. This was my initial view of the stage, the back of Mr. Fidget McCantstandstill's tall head:

I fake fan-yelped directly into his ear until he got annoyed and moved away, which allowed me this view:

Jack White was all crazy on guitars and shit. They were putting on a really good show, but some drunken ass from the balcony above kept spilling beer on me:

If you're out there somewhere, Drunken Asshat, keep your beer inside the guard rail next time. I was able to ignore it long enough to see Brendan Benson sing some pretty harmonies:

But then a new girl weaved her way in front of me and proceeded to enthusiastically headbang her pony-tail into my mouth, repeatedly. Every time I took a step back she would do the same, getting all up in my stuff and tasting like aquanet:

But when she dropped her guard and danced too hard to one side, I seized the opportunity to nudge her outta the way, leaving me with a clear view of the grand finale:

It was a great show, indeed. Of course I bought a concert T-shirt and a limited edition gig poster suitable for framing. Perhaps I'm getting too old and ornery to go to rock concerts. Next up: Wolf Parade, August 9th.

::: posted by dan at 12:11 AM :: [ link ] :: (13) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

13 previous comments:

i heart "steady as she goes" reminds me of someone we know...

and i swear i don't stalk you snd wait for you to post.

By

the other sarah, at 1:36 AM

Did it occur to you that maybe Drunken Asshat is a friend of Mr. Fidget McCantstandstill? Maybe Mr. Fidget McCantstandstill ran upstairs and said, see that guy down there, he faked fan yelled in my ear, pour beer on him.

By

Anonymous, at 7:04 AM

Just how is it that you know what Aquanet tastes like?

By

Curious, at 9:34 AM

That last comments reminds me of this conversation I once had with J*Balls at the Tommy Bartett Sky Ski and Stage Show at the Wisconsin Dells circa 1989.

K*Mack – “This nacho cheese tastes like vomit.”

J*Balls – “Ugh, you know what vomit tastes like?”

There are some things in this world that you just know what they taste like. You gotta a grandma??

By

Kristina, at 10:37 AM

I used to have a grandma. i never tasted her so i don't know if she tasted like Aquanet. i just got the dickfore joke. I'm making it my life's mission to read all of the planetdan archives..this should take about a year but it's better than Lolita.

By

curious no more, at 11:11 AM

I am so jealous you got to go to Raconteurs. They are at Lolapalooza here in Chicago but I seemed to have missplaced the 150$ necessary to get in. JAck White is amazing live.

I think when that chick was head boobing her hair in your face you should have bit it and not let go. You obviously were already getting it in your mouth anyway. This would gaurentee her moving away.

By

The Artist Extraordinaire, at 12:56 PM

Hmm...reminds me of the time I saw M. Doughty in San Francisco. I was incredibly drunk and wanted the person in front of me to move, so I clapped really loud repeatedly by her ears so she would move.

Hey, that makes me an asshat. Damn.

By

Elle Marie, at 1:26 PM

Funny, I just had the fleeting thought "I'm getting too crotchety to go to live shows" this past Wedneday night. My man and I went to see Brandi Carlile at the zoo - ton o'people on blankets spread out on the grass - and had to deal with the typical asswipes. Four older-than-middle-aged men behind us responding to Brandi's light hearted banter with creepy, almost pedophilic comments - "Yeah, it's nice to see you too baby...[evil laugh]" The family of 15 in front of us talking and eating through the whole thing. The sing-a-longer beside us who thought she was just as good as Brandi. Why do I even bother anymore?

By

rae, at 2:39 PM

Very funny post, and ingenious way to deal with people blocking your view. There are some concerts I won't go to, particularly ones without seats. I don't mind standing, just MY space.

As far as the Aquanet, anyone with a grandmother would know what it smells like. When my grandmother picked up the can to start spraying, I held my breath, closed my mouth and ran for cover!

By

Mike, at 2:54 PM

Rae - you're not getting crotchety. Shows at the zoo are just annoying. We went to see TMBG there a couple of years ago. I won't go into detail but I can say that I'm never going back to that venue.

By

Sissy, at 5:09 PM

woah, that's cool, the raconteurs! we call them 'the saboteurs' in australia, cos they stole their name off a shitty local band of said name. i saw jack white with meg in hobart early this year, he is so tubby, either that or red and white are so not good for him. and meg was bra-less. *shudder*

By

Ems, at 10:42 AM

Nice neck zits, Mr. Fidget McCantstandstill.

Gross.

By

Anonymous, at 11:10 AM

Mr. Fidget McCantstandstill's head looks like my asshole exboyfriend's head. About 6'3" and alone since I'm no longer around to go to shows with him.

By

Anonymous, at 9:07 PM

< Back to Blog