planetdan

Thursday, April 26, 2007 :::

Avid Enthusiast

I've been thinking about my epitaph and the typical two-word descriptive structure of modern day obituary writing, such as "Devoted Husband", "Avid Sportsman", and "NASCAR Enthusiast" (none of which am I). It would appear that brevity is an important factor in obit/epitaph writing, especially if you want enough room left over for a nice big face picture, which I certainly do.

So I started a list of possible two-word obituary-style descriptions of myself, just to prepare for the inevitable:

• Avid Gilmore Girls Viewer
• Decemberist Enthusiast
• Devoted Misanthrope
• Yardwork Avoider
• Prolific Jaywalker
• Energetic Spectator
• Backup Singer Wannabe
• Ethusiastic Fist-Pumper
• Subpar High-Fiver
• Disingenuine Crusader
• Eminent Apologist
• Amature Pop-locker
• Moustache Virgin
• Celebrated Animated-GIF Collector
• Uncelebrated Christmas Song Composer
• Anti-Skydiver
• Mad Genius

But I think it would be better to be enigmatic and intriguing and just go for something all-encompassing like "Avid Enthusiast". That could mean anything, which is what makes it particularly attractive. In fact, I almost don't want to wait until I die to unveil that one:

Also, I want to be cremated. And I want Lily Tomlin to eat the ashes. So at the risk of sounding like a bad frozen pizza commercial, what two words do you want on your tombstone?

::: posted by dan at 6:04 PM :: [ link ] :: (36) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

36 previous comments:

Just Married!

By

Anonymous, at 8:22 PM

Bush Lied!

By

Anonymous, at 8:23 PM

I Died?

By

Anonymous, at 8:24 PM

Hell IS Hot.

By

Robert, AZ, at 8:27 PM

pop-lockers. lame. :)

By

Daniel Stout, at 9:15 PM

what bus?

By

Anonymous, at 9:39 PM

holy crap dan, i never think you can do it again but you did...i almost peed i was laughing so hard at this post! i want to wear some of those on my own t-shirts! hahaha keep it up

By

Haley, at 2:49 AM

Two Words

By

Kevdogg, at 8:04 AM

My Tombstone

By

Anonymous, at 8:26 AM

better me, huh?

By

angie, at 9:12 AM

Largely Ceremonial.
Wait. Those are the two words I'd like to see in my job description...

Kris

By

Anonymous, at 11:15 AM

Compassionate Bitch

By

Stacy B, at 12:20 PM

Almost Clever.

By

sarah, at 12:22 PM

Well Hung

By

Anonymous, at 12:46 PM

Back Soon

By

CampBlood, at 1:46 PM

Occasional bed-wetter

By

Noelle, at 2:38 PM

Happy Scoundrel

By

Anonymous, at 3:48 PM

Poutine eater.

By

Ryan, at 6:49 PM

Dan -- regarding Gilmore enthuiasm, you are SO right that they're back in the game! That haybale maze was GGs at their best. It's like LIFE is like a MAZE ... that's made out of HAY. Get it?! Yay, they're back!

By

Anonymous, at 6:54 PM

What the...

By

Anonymous, at 9:17 PM

bye bye

By

Trudy, at 11:53 PM

Smarmy McBitchslap

By

Tae, at 7:28 AM

Test it out??
http://www.jjchandler.com/tombstone/

By

Anonymous, at 11:57 AM

size 4

By

Anonymous, at 10:08 AM

This post has been removed by the author.

By

tcarole, at 12:03 AM

<== I'm With Stupid

By

Anonymous, at 9:03 AM

Bad at counting words

By

Jake, at 11:51 AM

Gubernatorial Comptroller

-Erik

By

Anonymous, at 12:54 PM

When I read obits I always notice that people die after "a corageous battle with cancer." Personally, I know I would whine right up to the end and bitch a lot. I would want my obit to reflect that. "....got her ass kicked by cancer. Finally, her friends have some peace and quiet."
QueenieBops

By

Anonymous, at 3:05 PM

Trans Fat

By

Flip Washington, at 4:17 PM

For me:
Beloved by Self

For you:
Blogger Extraordinaire

By

lola, at 4:51 PM

Did Timberlake

By

Anonymous, at 10:39 PM

What's ridiculous is you made a pun that only film editors would get...

By

Mr. Your On Fire Mr., at 9:34 AM

Obvious alcoholic.

By

Anonymous, at 5:42 PM

avid musician

By

Richard, at 5:24 PM

Smoking Kills

By

Anonymous, at 2:03 PM

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