planetdan

Thursday, November 15, 2007 :::

Life in the fast lane.

I got a speeding ticket a couple weeks ago, and just like everyone else here at Shawshank, I am totally innocent. But that's beside the point. The point is that I had to spend two hours waiting to see a hearing officer at the government center to try and talk my way out of it.

In the waiting room, sandwiched between an angry loud woman who's bottom gut was pouring over into my seat and an unbathed man who was working on coughing up a substance that sounded to consist mostly of pure solids, I could only wonder if it was worth it. But I was too self rightous to admit defeat.

When the angry loud woman asked me where Hennepin Avenue was and I responded, "Downtown," she erupted with an even louder "I know Hennepin's downtown! You don't gotta tell me Hennepin's downtown! Everyone know's Hennepin's downtown!" With her insane yelps being directed at me, suddenly I was the center of everyone's attention, and for the first time I realized that everyone there looked either deathly ill or drunk and beligerent. It was like a hospital ward mixed with a holding cell.

I would have found the whole experience entertaining had it been beneficial to me at all. When I finally got to the hearing officer, she told me there was nothing she could do for me except schedule a court date later in December. Then when I got back to the government center parking ramp, I discovered that it costs $21 for two hours of parking, a billing practice I will henceforth refer to as "that whole crock of shit." No wonder they don't take appointments at the hearing office, ensuring that their average wait time is well over two hours.

Not that I think they should make it easy to get out of a speeding ticket, but there seems to be issues with efficiency in that government office (surprise), and I should be able to leave their waiting room without developing a skin rash or contracting the flu. All I know is that I'll be driving at a prudent ten miles per hour BELOW the speed limit from now on, thank you very much.

So I guess, in that sense, I learned a bigger lesson than whatever a $142 speeding ticket could ever teach me. But I refuse to admit I learned anything at all right now, because I'm officially in full-on eff-the-police mode.

And I'm attaching this picture of a two-faced pig for no reason whatsoever.

::: posted by dan at 4:56 PM :: [ link ] :: (5) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

5 previous comments:

poor dan! and what is the reason that you are going to use to try and get rid of the ticket? My friend once got out of a ticket by saying she was speeding because she had diarrhea.

By

Anonymous, at 9:05 AM

Always carry your 'get out of jail free' card from your monopoly set. Works for me.

-Colleen

By

Anonymous, at 9:53 AM

quit yer whinin'.

I miss FATTY.

Do you think the pig has three eyes? I see that one is visible in the photo, but I'm guessing there's two others on the sides.

By

toddbee, at 9:55 AM

I am so using that pig picture next time I'm bitching out someone for being hypocritical.

By

Dennis!, at 6:12 PM

Next time try doing a trial by declaration. It can all be done online with no interaction whatsoever with the scary podunk dildo donkers at the court. You still have to send in the money, but more than likely they will dismiss and send your money back. I got back my ticket fine of $380. I don't know what state you're in (mine was California), but it's worth looking up to see if it can be done.

By

Chino, at 2:15 PM

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