planetdan

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 :::

A Broken Promise

I know at some point I said I wasn't going to post any more photos or animated GIFs of kids barfing, but that was a lie.

Barfing in public is like a rite of passage for a kid. Unfortunately, I was never afforded the opportunity to barf in public. I've come close - barfing in front of family members at home - but I think in order to count it has to be in front of strangers or lesser acquaintances, and it should also not be alcohol induced.

And anyone who has had the chance to barf in public should count themselves lucky, because you will never be forgotten. I, for one, can easily recall every kid at school who ever barfed in front of me as well as the circumstances surrounding it. It's a sure-fire way to go down in history and to be remembered forever. For instance:

1. Dominic Forte - Barfed in class after hitting his head on the ground too hard during recess.
2. Michael Throndson's Sister - Barfed on more than one occasion and had the talent of acting very casual about it.
3. Joey C. - Barfed while eating a cupcake during a celebration after a class play performance.
4. Shane V. - Barfed in kindergarten after getting over-excited that he was chosen to be first in line to walk to the restrooms.

See? And that's just the few I can vividly recall off the top of my head that occurred prior to fifth grade. Sure, it might seem traumatizing at the time to barf in public, but you'll be glad it happened later when you realize it's the only thing people remember about you from grade school.

::: posted by dan at 9:55 AM :: [ link ] :: (17) comments

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17 previous comments:

And if you wet your pants, ahem Jenny Mack.

My brother barfed, I remember that. The fifth graders (my brother) were doing skits for the first graders (us) and I was SOOOOOOOOO excited that my big brother was going to be doing a live performance for my peers, when at the very last moment he ran from the class and made barf lines all they way down the hall to the rest room. I don’t think that’s what I had in mind when I thought that morning of how proud I would be of my big brother.

Do you remember that one? Probably not...you can remember my brother for SO much more.

I barfed on my corduroy pants at the doctor’s office, but…that probably doesn’t really count as barfing in public either.

C-

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Anonymous, at 12:09 PM

I barfed in front of a whole boat load of people on a whale watch two years ago. It was as bad for them as it was for me, they either had to watch me hang over the railing for three hours, or they saw my chuncks floating away in the water.

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Anonymous, at 12:40 PM

i stupidly ate jack n the box for lunch on a road trip. I was eating their chick club and i got a strawberry milkshake. i had a few bites of the sandwich and a few sips of the milkshake when all of a sudden... i had to throw up. i jumped up but didn't make it to the bathroom. i barfed on the floor. I was so embarrassed i thought i was going to die. Then about 200+ miles down the road we hit a rest stop. i felt all better, only had to pee.. went in and a lady said "aren't you that girl who threw up in jack n the box" it was awesome.

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Sonya, at 2:53 PM

Kelly King, a boy who looked remarkably like Alfred E. Neuman, sat next to me in the third grade and pushed back from his desk to barf forward right where his chair had been. Kudos to him for not ruining any of his books.

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PrincessMax, at 3:17 PM

I don't think I ever barfed at school. How sad. The only childhood incident of public barfing I can recall involved a playground several hundred miles from my home, and one of those metal carousel things that are probably condemned as abusive nowadays. What I remember most about it was that it was the first time barf ever came out of my nose as well as my mouth, and of course chunks got lodged in my sinus cavities, as they do. I found that vastly more disturbing than the fact that I was barfing in front of witnesses. Fuck them, I never saw them before and never would again.

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june, at 5:44 PM

I remember in first grade a girl was all dressed up in a red velvet dress and when she stood up, she had pooped in her chair.

Her name was Sarah and my heart still feels sick for her humiliation.

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Erik, at 5:46 PM

A kid barfed in my Sunday school class one day. I remember my teacher stopping midsentence and looking absolutely crestfallen at something in the row behind us. I turned around and this kid had barfed all over his desk. The teacher took him to the bathroom, but the poor kid barfed all the way there, leaving the aforementioned 'line of barf'. It was so gross I came really really close to sympathy barfing --literally made me really nauseated.

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Phil, at 6:39 PM

One of my favorite barf stories came from a totally anonymous person who posted on a video I posted on YouTube of what I considered a "barf inducing" carnival ride.

Here is their comment:

"i had a dare to eat 21 hotdogs then ride that 3 times for 100 dollars well i ate the hotdogs then went on it 2nd time i puked it was a lot of puke too and while we were upside down it got all over the dude behind me huge chuncks on his shirt and red and none went on me it was great!! :)"

- um, what??? 21 hot dogs???

Quote source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVpfkxEQc0w

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tcarole, at 6:51 PM

"it was great!!:)" is the best part, I think.

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tcarole, at 6:52 PM

dan - you are blogger gold!

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Anonymous, at 10:15 PM

I barfed in front of my entire class in elementary school once. I asked to be excused to the bathroom because I could feel it coming but on my way out I had to make a detour to the garbage can next to my teachers desk. I made to, and puked in, the garbage can and then my teacher asked a classmate to walk with me to the nurse's office. On the way to the nurse's office I barfed again leaving my "barf lines" down the hallway.

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Anonymous, at 12:21 PM

Fredricka Clay barfed while sitting next to me at lunch in fifth or sixth grade. The sad thing is, I was more concerned with whether or not people would associate her with me than I was with her well-being.

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Sissy, at 4:04 PM

We used to have Halloween parades in elementary school. One year I dressed up as Tyg Tiger from Shirt Tales. (yeah, they rocked)I started to feel sick and got dismissed to go to the bathroom. So as I'm running down the hall, the vomit burst forth and projectiled in front of me. Of course, then I got the bright idea to try and put my hand in front of it to stop it which only made it splash back all over me. I slipped in it, fell and my whole costume ripped off. I had to wear a lost and found jogging suit in the Halloween parade that day.

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Chino, at 10:42 PM

Darren Wallace used to barf all the time in elementary school - but he was so cute, I never cared. Personally, I never barfed at school, but two years ago, I barfed in my purse in the mall. Must have been the seafood pasta I had for lunch. I had to replace everything in the purse and the purse itself.

I really liked that purse.

Amy

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Anonymous, at 10:41 AM

Late to this convo, but as a kid, the family & I were waiting for the Disneyland monorail to go into it & I suddenly wasn't feeling too great. I barfed right there on the landing in front of all these strangers. Very humiliating, not to mention disappointing since I then had to go back to the hotel.

It was a 24 hr. flu bug cause I felt completely better the next day, which was good cause I was there for Disneyland damnit! Can you imagine? At Disneyland no less!

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August, at 6:42 PM

Where do you buy that special sawdust for when you barf? Remember the custodian coming into the room and laying it all over the place?

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Anonymous, at 8:08 PM

in high school, our band, "the rock-a-day johnnies" got done practice and were riding around drinking beer of course. we were an integrated band and grover, our rhythm guitar player was sitting in the back with me when all of a sudden he starts projectile vomiting into the front of the car. it was like a fire hose and hit the front windshield and i had a serious silhouette backlit view of the event. the guys in the front weren't real happy because they were too close to witness the beauty of vomit as tight as a rope.

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Anonymous, at 12:17 PM

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