planetdan

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 :::

For a Single Benjamin

Someone offered my friend JW a hundred dollars to artificially create some male pattern balding on top of his own head for a week. The creepy moustache was also required. I hope.

Now here's where I have to make a decision. Do I turn this into a "What would you do for one hundred dollars" post? Or do I go the route of "What would dan look like if he did the same thing" post? I think I will do both:

First, it's actually an interesting experiment to face your inevitable future head on like that. Luckily, JW's head has a good size and shape. But on the flip side, I feel very fortunate to have a full head of hair on top of my gargantuan, lumpy noggin, and no trace of male pattern baldness in my family's genetic history, because I would not be able to wear it very well. At all. I photoshopped the possibility, of course, but I have a feeling that even this poor recreation is nowhere near as unappealing as the reality would be:

It also got me thinking about what I would do for $100. Not this, of course. I wouldn't even shave my head for $1,000. An offer of $10,000 would probably be refused as well. Beyond that, my desire to hold onto my self-dignity starts to get a little foggy, and for some reason I start to care less and less about what I look like. So it would seem that the price of my dignity would be somewhere around the $30,000-$40,000 range.

You?

::: posted by dan at 8:59 PM :: [ link ] :: (13) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

13 previous comments:

I've got this friend who was tempted to eat a "chocolate" (burned beyond recognition) bugle for $20.

Or, so she claims.

By

Anonymous, at 12:34 PM

For $100 I MIGHT go to the Science Museum to visit the Star Wars Imagination exhibit.
Or go see George Michael.
:)

By

Anonymous, at 12:45 PM

haha I like anonymous #2's comment.

Back when I was a virgin I used to laugh that it could be bought for a z06 Corvette. So my innocence and dignity was on sale for $60,000. And if it weren't for 4 long island iced teas it still would be. (so i guess technically it was for sale for about $32...)

By

sarah, at 12:59 PM

I have a friend who did that to himself for his brothers wedding (haircut, not the virginity thing). He was the best man. Still not sure why he did it but made for great wedding pictures. The bride and groom are divorced now, soo.. well I don't know what that means.

By

miked, at 9:36 PM

wow you would totaly look like mr.Birch...
I am pretty much living out my hair nightmare for an extra 100 bucks a month...
when we moved we discovered our townhome is sans water softener..
we could rent monthly,but I have decided to take one for the team since I am not working for money anymore...
Good thing,I would never be able to go to work with this,fluffy,flat,flyaway,mop...

By

Stacy, at 11:02 PM

$1,000 isn't enough for me to shave my head, but I'd do it for way less than $10,000... and I'm a woman with long hair, and I have lumps too. (what's up with that? It's hereditary. My dad had them and he was bald.)So, I'm estimating $3,500 is my price.

hair grows pretty quickly.

-toddbee

By

Anonymous, at 8:46 AM

Wow!! Is he single, cuz if he's not, he's going to be by the end of the week... that 'stache definitely adds to the effect!

What is it with men that are balding feeling the need to compensate with weird facial hair???

By

Anonymous, at 9:13 AM

Once, a creepy guy shopping in the small store where I worked offered me $20 for my socks. The socks I was wearing right then. Right off my feet. They were cheap socks so I took him up on it without question. I imagine he went off to make love to my socks in the bathroom. If he had offered me another $500 for it, I would have watched him make love to my socks. I'd let him look at my bare feet while he did it for free. What can I say? I was only making $8.25/hr at the time.

By

Gloria, at 10:21 AM

I'm calling Bullshit on you

If I put a 10 large on the table in cash, you'd be shaving your eyebrows along with your head. The shit grows back man......you can laugh about it when your taking a trip to Europe for 2 weeks.

By

Anonymous, at 11:57 AM

10k would only last you two weeks in Europe? shit. I could move there for 10k. and not work for 6 months.

By

sarah, at 9:44 AM

Can I get $100 for looking like that naturally (without the 'stache, of course)?

I vaguely recall reading a story where one professional hockey player bet another $500 to lick the back of a urinal. IIRC, the guy actually did it. I wonder if he spent it all on mouthwash.

By

spellsgood, at 1:33 PM

Big deal. I already have pattern baldness so I shave my head anyway. For almost nothing I'll shave weird crap into my hair. It doesn't matter, I'll just shave it all off anyway. I actually won $2000 for having a tire company shave their tire tread pattern into my hair. I won a free set of any of their tires ($2000 worth of high performance tires!).
Like this: http://rides.webshots.com/photo/1506805868057200541oVZSZj

By

James, at 7:20 PM

I don't think I really have a price. There is no amount of money in the world that I would shave my head for. Serious. I'm not easily bought on most things.

But if I was piss-drunk, that would be another story...

By

Monkey, at 9:19 PM

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