planetdan

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 :::

Poppin' Pills

This morning I dropped my Zyrtek on the kitchen floor. Distracted by the television and unwilling to avert my eyes from some tawdry news story, I bent down to retrieve the pill using only my peripherals, sweeping my hands across the floor until I located it. I had heard where it had landed so it was no big feat.

But upon popping the pill into my mouth, I immediately noticed a texture that I was not familiar with. I curiously spit the pill back into my hand to realize that it was not my pill at all, but rather some unidentifiable morsel of mysterious origin which was dried up and shriveled, and no doubt way beyond its expiration date:

Surprisingly, I'm somehow able to remain calm during situations like these. I think it's a defense mechanism, otherwise my borderline OCD might trigger a contamination-alert seizure. Instead, my analytical mind took over and I tried to identify the mystery nugget.

It kind of resembled a lemon seed, but I can't for the life of me remember the last time there would have been a lemon in my kitchen. Or alternatively, it could have been a chewed-up olive pit, which is a much more likely yet much less desirable possibility. I didn't have any other theories, so I smashed it with a frying pan to punish it, and then I put it into the refuse bin, where it should have been banished months ago.

If I didn't have such a discerning tongue, I could have unwittingly swallowed the thing with a gulp and then been royally peeved a couple hours later when my Zyrtek was seemingly ineffective. And then where would I have turned for my allergy relief? It was sort of a reminder of the lesson learned from the rat-loaf a couple posts down: always look before you eat.

::: posted by dan at 8:12 PM :: [ link ] :: (10) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

10 previous comments:

Could it be a piece of popcorn kernel??

By

Anonymous, at 5:39 PM

it looks like a Corn Pop. Are you a cereal person?

P.S. Word verification: "suave".

Nice.

By

Daphne Bee, at 11:11 PM

It's as hard as a rock. When I smashed it with the pan, it didn't even dent. And the image is not to scale. It was quite small.

By

dan, at 8:53 AM

How do you know it wouldn't have helped your allergies? You should have swallowed it, for science!

By

Jacobpants, at 12:26 PM

it's a rat's pecker.

word verification = "concholc"
that's it, dried concholc.

By

Anonymous, at 2:35 PM

I had a similar experience with brownie crumbs and kitty litter. I found the situation amusing. I'm only telling you about it because I know it will seriously gross you out, Dan!

By

Sissy, at 3:25 PM

It could have been a little something that was stuck in the tread of your shoe. Like a palm or pine seed. But I think I would still be gargling Scope for peace of mind, Lord knows what else you might have stepped on!?

By

Johnny Kat, at 5:10 PM

Soak it in water and see what fun shape it swells up to.

By

AMR, at 9:20 AM

AMR - That's what she said!

By

BJ, at 11:53 PM

Those striations look like little mice teeth have have busy on it.

By

Rob, at 10:37 AM

< Back to Blog