planetdan

Wednesday, March 25, 2009 :::

Happy Annunciation!

On this day, celebrating the Feast of the Annunciation, and only one week after the Pope's condemnation of the use of condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS in Africa, let us pause to remember the true meaning of the occasion.

::: posted by dan at 8:15 AM :: [ link ] :: (6) comments

Friday, March 20, 2009 :::

Animated Friday (Pig in a Poke Edition)!

Copulation Thwarted Pt. 1: Revenge is Sweet

Copulation Thwarted Pt. 2: Coitus Interruptus

"Oink oink... we'll be pigs!"

Tony Horton's 10-Minute Trainer Update

DAYS THIRTY ONE THRU SIXTY

As it turns out, you can't really excercize for only ten minutes a day and lose weight. According to Tony's own advice, you have to eat well and drink less, too. These are non-negotiables for me. I like to eat and drink. So I guess this whole experience was a losing battle to begin with.

The bad news is I weigh as much as I did when I started two months ago. The good news is that there has been an almost imperceptible shift in body fat: a little less flab on the love handles and a little more meat on the shoulders. Still, I'm nowhere near being able to feel confident in a bathing suit. But a lot of the insecurity involved in that issue has to do with the fact that my skin is so white it's practically translucent.

None of this means I've given up, of course. Spring has sprung, so I've returned to the occassional jog around the lake and maybe even a push up or two. My long term goal is to never have to upgrade my waist-size again. I know, it's not that lofty of a goal, but I've learned not to challenge myself too hard.

Exercising sucks.

Weight: 167

::: posted by dan at 12:38 PM :: [ link ] :: (5) comments

Ahem

*cough*

::: posted by dan at 8:47 AM :: [ link ] :: (18) comments

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 :::

Birthday Week

My birthday is on Friday, so I plan on treating myself real nice this week.

Actually, I already got birthday cupcakes from C-Minus last Saturday. But I'm sure I'll find other ways to reward myself in the coming days. Any ideas centered around self-indulgence would be greatly appreciated. Although please don't say "Spa Day" because that just ain't my style.

I'm thinking more along the lines of allowing myself to eat BOTH Pop-Tarts?in one sitting, etc.

::: posted by dan at 8:12 AM :: [ link ] :: (16) comments

Monday, March 16, 2009 :::

Animated Friday (Or Make That Monday Edition)!

In spite of its ubiquity on the web lately, this animated GIF has given me much pleasure.

Of course, watching the video is infinitely more rewarding, but then it wouldn't be animated Friday, would it?

When traveling with K-Mack, she used to jog around the room in her sleep during the night. I'd hear a lot of whooshing and running and I'd open my eyes just in time to see her swan dive into her bed. Perhaps she, too, was chasing rabbits. Regardless, her sleeprunning was better than her sleep-chastising. She used to wake me up in the middle of the night clawing at the bottom of my bed with her eyes closed, looking for some watch or piece of jewelry that I was apparently responsible for losing. When I'd groggily ask her what she was talking about, she would suddenly come to and curse at me curtly, without ever opening her eyes: "Shut up. Go to bed."

I may have told this story before, but never with the opportunity to compare her to a dog. So I'm sure you'll excuse the redundancy.

::: posted by dan at 8:26 AM :: [ link ] :: (3) comments

Wednesday, March 11, 2009 :::

Masturator

In the middle of a client meeting today I stumbled over my words and somehow combined the words "web master" and "administrator" in the unfortunate sounding "masturator". Worse even, it was framed within a sentence like such: "So if you are a masturator..." Worse even, the flub made me stop the sentence dead in its tracks, resulting in an awkward pause and some blushing cheeks. Although I'm told I recovered nicely.

I was literally one unpronounced 'B' away from what could have been one of the most embarassing moments of my life. Not that "masturator" wasn't close enough to elicit a few smirks and titters from my fellow colleagues, but if I had indeed uttered that one extra letter I doubt I would have ever been able to live it down.

I'm going to call that one a near miss and thank my lucky stars. Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.

::: posted by dan at 4:57 PM :: [ link ] :: (6) comments