planetdan

Friday, April 22, 2005 :::

I'm short.

I went out for drinks with some friends last night and as we were leaving one bar, the biggest diesel-powered Hummer I've ever seen pulled up to the valet parking station and out stepped the most ginormous man I've ever laid eyes on. One of my friends was apparently acquainted with him, so he stepped up onto the curb next to me to chat with her. Here is a diagram of how it probably looked to passersby:

So they chatted for a while. He couldn't take his eyes off of my friend's big fake breasts. Then he left, throwing me an almost imperceptible yet friendly nod while allowing just the slightest bit of eye contact. I think he could tell I was a wee bit intimidated. Turns out it was this guy, who is apparently some sort of basketball player for the Timberwolves and fake boob enthusiast:

Anyway, I'm real short.

::: posted by dan at 4:45 PM :: [ link ] :: (8) comments

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8 previous comments:

The Nigerians love da white wimmins. Take it from me.

Your new acquaintance is also a known criminal!

By

lynn, at 8:33 AM

I don't know who this Timberwolf is, but I'd pass out if I ever saw Wally Zscerbiack (or whatever).

By

Kiddo78, at 4:00 PM

Dude, this guy was just elected to People magazine's "Most Sexiest Human Specimans Alive" issue. (I'm not kidding.)

So, you were consorting with the beautiful people, little fella!

By

Anonymous, at 4:21 PM

you're freakishly muscle-y.

and you know what they say about guys with muscles....

By

Honey Bunny, at 9:01 PM

The same thing they say about men who drive big cars, right?

By

brent, at 10:55 AM

Good thing you didn't try anything... that man can take a double taser blast and still want to keep the party going, and that was on game night!

By

saltedwound, at 1:17 PM

That is TOTALLY your silhouette! Amazing!

By

Colleen, at 5:40 PM

Big fake boobs from 8 feet in the air. Hmmm. Possibly there is something deeper here. Dan, could you jump on a ladder and snap a pic for us. Maybe it is like the face on the surface of Mars. From the surface it is just a mound but from altitude it makes you ponder your place in the universe.

By

les, at 3:37 PM

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