planetdan

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 :::

Loose Screws

I know next to nothing about cars. How they work and how one might go about performing repairs is an utter mystery to me. The engine could be nothing more than a greasy monkey furiously pumping a hand crank for all I know. I suppose this has made me a good mark for unscrupulous mechanics who have undoubtedly charged me obscene sums of money in the past for things that probably amounted to little more than flipping a switch or adjusting a lever. Do cars even have switches and levers? I dunno.

So recently my "door ajar" alarm has been emitting an ear-piercing and insanity-inducing ding at all times, regardless of whether or not my car door is actually ajar. A cursory glance and the door latch mechanism was all I could muster before I just broke down and called the dealership to schedule a repair.

It's times like these when my insecurity gets the best of me. I imagined bringing in the car and telling them my problems only to be met with laughter and derision when the issue turned out to be something trivial or obvious. "He brought in his car to the dealership for an ungreased door latch! LOL! What a buffoon!" they would all guffaw while kicking me in the nuts.

So I was a little caught off guard today when the mechanic walked into the waiting lounge at the dealership and told me I had a screw loose.

"You got a screw loose, man."

My initial desire was to shout "Oh yeah? Not everyone on the planet needs to know how to repair a car, jackass! Do you know how to design and build a website? HUH? NO?!? Well, then maybe YOU'RE the one with the loose screw, pal!"

But thankfully the reality of my low self-confidence limited my reply to: "Say what?"

"You got a screw loose. In the door latch. I'm just having my guys give it a good tightening and that should solve the problem."

So it turns out he was speaking literally when it came to loose screws. But I still think his comment was a double entendre. Mechanics can be so damned self-righteous.

::: posted by dan at 12:48 PM :: [ link ] :: (4) comments

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4 previous comments:

glad to know i'm not the only desk jockey who feels this way.

i usually try to repeat the words back to them and when they ask if i want the extra work done, i feign an understanding and say not now.

i'll show them.

By

Anonymous, at 3:48 PM

Repeating it back to them would have been interesting there though... "ah... hmm.... a screw loose, you say.... hmm"

By

Steve, at 5:21 PM

Mechanics only want to screw, nut, and bolt... you should stay far away from them as possible... as far away as possible...

By

Mr. Your On Fire Mr., at 8:36 PM

You know, since the car was in the mechanic's possesion, saying that he had a loose screw and not you would be somewhat true......

By

Hawkeye Starsunder, at 5:24 AM

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