planetdan

Monday, March 31, 2008 :::

Monkey Bidness

You know that feeling where you're just sitting around on a Saturday afternoon and you think to yourself, "Wouldn't it be really fun to make a Sock Monkey right now?" No? Well neither do I, but upon completion of a related work project last week I received a gift of Rockford Red Heel socks from the client as a Thank You. They come packaged with instructions on how to make your very own Sock Monkey, and it seemed simple enough. With the exception of the stuffing, I had all the required materials, so I thought, "Hmmmm, why not?" The final results weren't exactly impressive - you can't really call me "competent" with a needle and yarn - yet I felt a sense of accomplishment nonetheless:

I named him Edgar. You might be thinking, "What's the point?" But the whole process has also been very educational. In fact, I soon learned that there exists a Sock Monkey "culture" that obsesses about all things Sock Monkey. For instance, they make Sock Monkey inspired furniture:

And even Sock Monkey inspired fashion:

And maybe I got a little too into it as well, because I thought it would be funny to embroider Edgar a little anus, just like the real red-butted monkeys:

But then I thought that people might think that was a tad perverted or something, which instantly reminded me of Rule 34 on the Internet, which basically states:

If it exists, there is porn of it, or somebody fetishizes it.

And as it turns out, Sock Monkeys are no exception to that rule:

I'm not even going to tell you what I stuffed Edgar with.

Kidding.

Long live the Internet!

::: posted by dan at 8:31 AM :: [ link ] :: (9) comments

Comments are Closed On this Post

9 previous comments:

why didn't you mark out the faces of the monkeys?

(long live the internets!!!)

By

angie, at 10:35 PM

In the picture of all the monkey clothes, the front woman looks like Rose McGowan. Woo hoo! Two fantasies at once!

By

Jacobpants, at 11:00 PM

you sock monkey is BEEEAUTIfulll! Nice Job. Doesn't it make you want to sew another one?

By

takinanap, at 6:53 AM

I just realized what makes Dan look so freakin' cute: he has the eyes of a five-year old.

By

Anonymous, at 8:52 AM

Nice monkey! And your doll is cute too.

By

CampBlood, at 9:26 AM

And just like that, happy childhood memories are instantly erased. Fucko.

By

Anonymous, at 7:24 PM

I completely understand why you would make this guy. We have a sock monkey named Marcus Aurelius who is store bought. My bf recently made Marcus a spiffy red tunic befitting his royal nature. Of course, I was annoyed by the whole thing b/c that was the first my bf had ever sewn anything that complicated. He did it perfectly, the bastard.

By

Sissy, at 2:16 PM

I have a big sock monkey collection. I have sock monkey slippers and a sock monkey rug. I love Edgar. I am jealous that you made him so beautifully. But the big anatomically correct sock monkeys have made me want to go hide in the corner for awhile with my blankie.

By

PeaceBang, at 5:10 PM

Ummmm, Sock Cockies & Sock Anuses? You'd have to be pretty hard up to go down THAT road, haha!

Sock Monkey fashion is pretty damn cheesy too, ugh.

By

August, at 12:03 AM

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