planetdan

Tuesday, September 01, 2009 :::

Dr. Pratfall

My regular doctor has apparently gotten too popular, or sick of me, so I had to make an appointment with an all new general practitioner this week for some ear/nose/throat issues that I've been having. The new guy is a very nice older gentleman who initially made me feel very comfortable with his calm demeanor and soothing voice. Sure, he had a wonky eye and so he always seemed to be looking two directions at once, but I was clever enough to deduce that the "working" eye was probably the one that moved around a lot, and the other eye that never moved and stared off into space like a dead fish was probably not doing him any favors. So I just focused my attention on his active eye and that seemed to do the trick. The only reason I mention this is because I think it had something to do with why he walked directly into a wall at the end of my appointment.

When I say he walked directly into a wall, I don't mean he brushed against a wall, or grazed a door jam, or bumped into a corner. I mean he stood perpendicular to a wall literally five inches away from him, said "Okay, let me know if you don't feel better in a week," turned toward the wall, and took one giant step for mankind. I'm assuming his useless eye had probably deceived him, because he took the forceful step with brazen confidence, and the resulting thud was dramatic. He grunted a bit, presumably from pain, but I didn't know how to react, so I just said "oopsie..." while he tripped over a garbage can and stumbled into a nearby office. It was like watching a slapstick skit starring Peter Sellers or that racist guy who played Kramer. The only thing missing was a tin bucket on his head.

I stood for a second, debating whether or not I should go into the office to check on his well-being, but then I decided that if I were him at that particular moment, I'd want to be alone for a long while. I turned and walked out, wondering if the incident were caught on video camera somewhere, like it was with this guy.

So I'm trying not to let the incident affect my confidence in his diagnosis. Doctors aren't perfect. They can have blind eyes and walk directly into walls if they want. It doesn't necessarily mean that I have cancer. Right?

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::: posted by dan at 8:10 PM :: [ link ] :: (3) comments

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3 previous comments:

I love your sense of humour and the way you write!
It's excellent. It makes me laugh until I cry.
Thank you so much!

LD from France

By

Anonymous, at 9:53 AM

I can't stop laughing about your "oopsie" comment. Really, what else could you say in that situation? Hilarious!

By

Anonymous, at 12:29 PM

Did you make this up holy crap I would of pissed my pants

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Anonymous, at 11:30 PM

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